


We Are HUMANZ

by orphan_account



Series: HUMANZ AU [1]
Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, F/M, M/M, Majority of the band's antics that has to do with paranormal isn't a thing in this AU, Murdoc isn't abusive in this AU but he's still an ass, Russel is Noodle's caretaker, Stuart is blind, also I didn't plan to make this 2Doc because I don't ship it but it just happened, he never got the nickname 2D either
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-10-25 02:00:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10754391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Ever wondered how it would have been if the Gorillaz have been living in a human world, with them also being humans? Murdoc wouldn't have green skin, 2D would have been blind, Noodle always lived in england with Russel, Russel wouldn't have been possessed by his friends. But what other things would have been different? What, if they all possessed human hearts and human minds, things would they do different?





	1. Family Fun.

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU I have been working on for a while.  
> I genuinely didn't think the pairing 2Doc would have fit the story, but today, as I was finishing the first chapter, I realized that it does indeed fit. You can feel free to ignore the ship, as I won't focus on it much, but keep in mind that the main characters ARE Murdoc and Stuart.  
> Feel free to ask anything about the AU, I shall gladly answer!

Murdoc hated his life. Scratch that, Murdoc completely despised his miserable life. From day one it had been shitty, with his mother disappearing and his father drinking too much and having the wonderful joy of using him as a punch bag, only to later on be joined by his older brother, Hannibal, who picked up onto his father’s habits. Murdoc wasn't one to give love and be a happy little pastel flower in a field of putrid roses, but he still had a bit of conscience. He was an asshole, there was no way better to describe him, but… yeah… no, no buts. He was an asshole.

 

Satanism to him came like some sort of revelation. Like his mindset was fitting perfectly with the cult’s “policies”. He genuinely felt more accepted, and in the end, that's what he was looking for. Acceptance. His father and brother never gave him that. When his mouth slipped an important secret, that, hey, boobs are nice, but dick is too, he never stepped into the Niccals’ home ever again. Whether he liked it or not. The satanic preacher welcomed him, though, not only in the cult, but in a new life. Giving him an apartment, helping him out with little deeds, the man has been like a father to him and it made Murdoc realize perhaps life wasn't so shitty.

 

Well, that was until the old man died, of course. Which got Murdoc being all alone again. The preacher helped him a ton throughout the years, got him in different musical lessons, though singing was never his thing, but he ended up loving bass more than anything. His dream to become a famous musician came from when he was very young and only when the preacher helped him, he learned anything at all. All that he had left from him was an upside-down golden cross.

 

Things only got worse after he died, getting in trouble with money, his last resort being stealing. He didn't live life day by day from then on, he lived it minute by minute, sometimes second by second, because at any point he could fuck up his life even worse than before. He wasn't proud of what he had become. He felt filthy. And while he was there, at his worst, he still joined random bands, as if they would end up being the perfect match for him, though it was never the case. They were never perfect. They just always got him into more trouble.

 

He had been eyeing the emporium for a while now. There was no way he would be able to steal anything from there, it was too big, too noticeable. It was so much out there that even taking a pick from it would be too much. Still, he went there often. There was this worker there that always caught his attention. He always sat into the keyboard section, or behind the cash register. He hadn't thought much of him until he heard him hum a melody while Murdoc was browsing the bass section, which was right next to the keyboard one. The man’s voice had something… he couldn't put his finger on it, but ever since he heard it that time, he wanted to hear more. Which brought him to hang out at the emporium almost every day. At least only during the worker's shift. He never had the courage to say something to him, though. Murdoc was a mess, the guy wouldn't want anything to do with him, nevertheless sing for Murdoc’s nonexistent band. He also learned that his name was Stuart.

 

Earlier it was mentioned that he had some conscience. Well, only a bit, because if he had more, he wouldn't have thought it would be  _ okay _ to ram his car into the emporium. The crash had him going fairly okay, honestly. The emporium had glass walls from the ceiling to the ground, so it was easy for him to just slam in. But he had realized too late that he had hit someone in the meantime. Murdoc internally panicked and scrambled out of the car. This wasn't part of the plan. When did the guy come out?  _ Fuck _ , he thought, then walked to the front of the car to see who he crashed into.

 

_ Stuart _ .

 

Murdoc fell onto his knees by the man who was unconscious, against the wall.

 

“Dude, shit, are you okay? Wait, dumb question, you're fucking unconscious.” Murdoc spoke fast, holding Stuart in his arms. The owner of the emporium came out and had seemingly called the police. Everything around him seemed to move way too fast while he felt like he was moving in slow motion. He heard sirens, someone took Stuart from his arms and forced his wrists into cuffs. Before he knew it, he was pushed into a police car.

 

\--

 

_ “I was very tired and I almost fell asleep, then before I knew it, i slammed into the emporium.” _ A lie. But he didn't need his ass in prison. And the little lie saved him from that sentence. Instead, he was sentenced to take care of Stuart for 300.000 hours, since the man was in a coma and no one else was there to take care of him. The man suffered a severe blow to the head, which caused him to get an eight ball fracture, meaning that the man also lost his sight. So even if Stuart woke up, it would be hard for him to take care of himself as he would be completely blind.

 

It was okay taking care of the man. He got used to living into Stuart’s flat, it was peaceful. Stuart had a lot of books around the flat. He must have really enjoyed reading. It was his fault that the man would not be able to read anymore.

 

“Hey, man, you really should have your books in, like, one place and shit. Like a bookcase. For fuck’s sake, I keep finding them in the most random places. One day I'm gonna find them in my arsehole.” Murdoc complained. The satanist couldn't help but notice a small twitch at the corners of Stuart’s mouth to form a smile, and Satan be damned if Murdoc didn't smile as well. It would be inhuman for him to just not smile at that.

 

There was this particular day that went by too slow. Murdoc just didn't know what to do. He was bored out of his mind, even playing bass got boring. As he paced around the bedroom, he ended up tripping over a book. He didn't fall, but he swore loudly, then picked up the book.

 

“Effin’ hell, how did this get here?” Murdoc mumbled. He stared at the cover and furrowed his eyebrows. “Edgar Allan Poe, huh? Ain't he the guy who was talking to ravens and crap?” Murdoc shook his head then sat down on the chair by the bed. This gave him an idea. He opened the book and began reading from it. He was reading aloud, of course, so Stuart would hear it as well.

 

After that, it became a habit. Murdoc would read 2D a book every day. Sometimes he wouldn't finish a book in a day, so he would continue in the next one. Sometimes Stuart’s lips would twitch and his expressions would change slightly, depending on what Murdoc was reading. Other times his hands would move ever so slightly, but no movement went unnoticed.

 

Days, weeks passed by and Murdoc felt more alive, all because of an unconscious man in the bed whom he was reading to or playing bass to. And the most he'd receive were small twitches or smiles.

 

That was until Stuart woke up.

 

Murdoc hadn't even noticed at first when the man opened his eyes.

 

“I feel dizzy..” the boy mumbled.

 

“It's probably ‘cause of the light… wait a second. Stuart?” Murdoc’s brows shot up in surprise when he heard him speak, heart racing with excitement.

 

“Who… who’re you? Why.. can't I see?” Stuart asked, feeling disoriented. “Your voice is so familiar..”

 

“I'm… uh… I'm Murdoc, I am taking care of you. And… well, you can't see because you hit your head really bad and fractured your eyes.” Murdoc stuttered the explanation quick.  _ Satan _ , Murdoc thought.  _ He had to wake up now, didn’t he? _ “Please rest, mate. It’s gonna suck if you get up or move now.”

 

Stuart seemed very confused, and Murdoc couldn’t blame him. This was a little bit annoying, because Stuart just  _ didn’t want to lay back the fuck down _ .

 

“I recognize your voice! You… I kept hearing you in my dreams!” Stuart exclaimed, almost jumping from the bed, which ended with him whining and groaning, moving his hands to grab his head.

 

“Dreams?” Murdoc furrowed his brows.

 

“Yeah! ‘T was like.. Someone with your voice was reading to me, like, all of my favorite books, and even those I didn’t like…” Stuart explained, his voice more quieter than before. Murdoc groaned a little, but there was some warmth in his chest over the simple fact that he  _ remembered _ reading to him.

“I… yeah, I was reading aloud while you were in the coma, so I guess… you heard me?” Murdoc had his fingers hanging over the edge of the bed, his eyes scanning over the now blind and awake man in the bed. He felt sort of happy that Stuart was awake now.

 

Silence followed after. When Murdoc looked up, Stuart’s eyes were closed. He was sleeping again. Murdoc pursed his lips then licked them, before he slowly got up from the chair he was sat on, going outside to smoke.

 

\--

 

For a year it was only that. Stuart would wake up for a few minutes, Murdoc would get to talk to him, then he'd fall back into slumber as if he never awoke in the first place. That reason only got Murdoc to smoke more. The need of nicotine in his lungs grew more desperate with each awakening. He hated how easily he was gaining and losing the man, he just wanted him to be awake for good.

 

The day he knew Stuart was awake for good was the day the man himself got out of bed. The reason why? Murdoc was playing a melody on bass, a tune he couldn't identify well, but he played it many times. Murdoc barely registered Stuart’s keyboard being plugged in then turned on until a soft voice began to hum along while the keys accompanied him. The familiar voice, the pure perfection of rough and soft, of high and low, of fast and slow. His mind associated it, shamefully, with sex. Pure, lustful sex, so sinful and so good. It took a while to register that Stuart was singing  _ his  _ lyrics. The ones he wrote down on pieces of paper scattered across the floor, imperfect, ugly, but somehow Stuart’s voice made it so perfect.

 

When they finally stopped, Murdoc was speechless and Stuart was breathless.

 

“Finally… I got enough of this unfinished melody.” Stuart laughed, a little choked, leaning back on the chair behind his keyboard until he hit the wall, somehow gently. “What’s the name of the song? You kept muttering the lyrics while you were writing them, so I only got that, along with the melody.” Stuart’s empty gaze towards him, which reminded Murdoc that the man was blind, was like a dagger to his lungs.

 

“Ghost… Ghost Train.” Murdoc was so taken aback by everything about this man. “How… how did you…”

 

“I have migraines during the night, and since I can't stand any sort of light, I got used to plugging and playing this keyboard blindly.” Stuart explained. “And… I dunno, I feel like I hear things way louder now, that I could… metaphorically see my way around the house.”

 

A quiet ‘ah’ escaped Murdoc’s lips and he set down his bass. “Your voice is… so… good. Look, I know this is sudden, bu-”

 

“Yes, of course I want to. This was… too good to just let it go.” Stuart closed his eyes and faced the ceiling. “You just… you played these songs while I was asleep and they got stuck in my head and I was so desperate to add something to it… by the way your singing sucks.”

 

Murdoc couldn't help but burst out laughing at the blind man’s last statement, having to hold onto his stomach with how hard he was laughing. Tears threatened to fall from his eyes and honestly, he couldn't get the hysterical sensation he just got, but hearing Stuart laugh with him brought warmth into his heart, something that happened often with him around, but rarely with anyone else.

 

\--

 

“Yo, Stu, did you see that?”

 

“Uh… Murds… I'm blind.” Stuart leaned against his cane. “But I sure as hell heard it.” The blind man grinned as he pushed up his blacked out glasses up his nose. “You think he's gonna really join us?”

 

“Man, I don't want to think I wasted hundreds of dollars buying us the studio and arranging it for completely nothing, and if my prayers to Satan worked in any way, he's totally the one.” Murdoc leaned on Stuart’s side as they watched a black man play the drums like he was possessed, which Murdoc seemed infatuated with, as he was when he heard Stuart sing and play keyboard. “We need him, he's the only one.”

 

“If you're so sure…” Stuart chuckled and leaned his head on Murdoc’s. “Will he finish soon?”

 

“Hopefully, the wait is making me want to kick his drums in his face.” There was a faint annoyed growl in his tone which made Stuart shake his head a bit.

 

“Okay, it's done. Let's go.” Stuart didn't even care that Murdoc almost fell from him just starting to walk towards the drummer, cursing loudly behind the man. Stuart ignored him and stopped in front of the man known as Russel Hobbs. “Hello there, I'm Stuart Pot, and the arsecrack behind me is Murdoc Niccals.” Stuart said with a smile.

 

“You're blind.” Russel stated as a matter of fact, his eyes narrowing at the brown haired man, then at the black haired one behind him.

 

Stuart raised a brow, a small smirk coming on his lips. “That doesn't make me less capable of playing keyboard or singing, but certainly makes me incapable of playing drums, y’know?”

 

“What about the goth weirdo behind you?” Russel asked.

 

“He's as incapable as a man born blind.”

 

“Hey!” Murdoc interjected angrily. “Fuck you. I'm not incapable, I write songs and play bass, I already do enough for this band.”

 

“It doesn't even exist yet, Muds.” Stuart sighed. “But we both would like for it to exist. We need a drummer, though. And we arranged to meet up with a guitarist, but we are not sure about keeping… uh… her.” Stuart’s eye twitched at the thought of Paula’s words of ‘ _ Mmm, blind men turn me on _ ’. Yeah, they would have to find a new guitarist immediately after. 

 

There was a long pause, the black male seeming to think deep and hard about his choices here. “Okay… fine. I'm in. Do you guys have a studio?” Russel looked up at the two men with a slight smile.

 

“Hell yeah we do.” Murdoc grinned when he spoke. “It’s a nice tall building with many rooms and a perfect recording studio, which is perfect because it was designed by  _ moi _ , and rooms for all of the members, which, I certainly plan for them to be only four, if you get what I mean.”

 

“That’s cool, dawg, so I suppose you have most things settled?” Russel finally got up from behind the drums. “But… Ya know, there’s a lil’ bit of an issue here. I have, uh… a girl in custody, ‘cuz I was good friends with her grandpa back when I was touring in Japan. So… I have to bring her with me.”

 

At that, Murdoc brought his hands to his face and began pinching the bridge of his nose, letting out a loud sigh. Before he could open his mouth to say anything, though, Stuart chimed in. “She can stay. Since we don’t know if the guitarist we are bringing in will actually stay with us, there is room for the girl. How old is she, though?”

 

“She’s ten. She doesn’t speak English very well, though, so I’ll have to translate what she says most of the time. I also never really caught her name, so… feel free to call her Noodle. She likes that name.”

 

Stuart chewed on his lip for a few moments before nodding. “Okay.” Stu snapped his head towards Murdoc, the slight glare coming from the taller man making the satanist nod in agreement.

 

“Yeah, she can stay. Fine.” he grumbled quietly.

 

Stuart smiled at Russel and brought out his hand, though it was facing the side of Russel. The black male still moved a bit and grabbed Stu’s hand to shake. “We have a deal then. We’ll come and pick you up in a few days.” The blind man nodded his head and moved backwards, tapping his cane loudly on the ground while he moved towards the exit, Murdoc quickly following after him.

 

As soon as they were out and walking towards their vehicle, which was an old RV that Murdoc acquired, better known as the Winnebago, Murdoc stepped in front of Stuart, putting both of his hands on the taller’s shoulders. “Okay, what the fuck were you thinking? A  _ child _ to live with us? What if this whole thing goes well and we have to tour? And if we collaborate with people, having them over at our studio would make things awkward when we also have to deal with a young girl?”

 

“Murdoc, as much as I want to agree with you, I have to remind you that  _ you _ wanted Russel in our band. If you want him so desperately, accept the kid too. If you don't, we're gonna look for another drummer. Got it?” Stuart’s eyes narrowed behind his glasses and Murdoc squeezed the man’s shoulders before finally letting him go, quietly muttering an apology. “Besides..” Stuart grabbed Murdoc’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “She might just brighten up our lives more than anything.”

 

“Alright, alright, I get it. Fine. She will stay with us. Can we go back home now?” Murdoc pulled his hand from Stuart’s grip, stepping backwards.

 

Stuart let out a sigh, but nodded, starting to walk towards the Winnebago, Murdoc following close behind.

 

Murdoc took out his keys and opened the door to the Winnebago, letting Stuart go in, then went to the driver’s seat, turning the engine on and driving away, back to their home which they gladly called Kong Studios.

 

\--

 

Murdoc was tapping his fingers impatiently as he stared at Stu, his expression showing off the anger he felt. A little girl was giggling as she moved the thankfully not permanent marker closer to Murdoc’s face to draw another dragon.

 

“Stu-san? Uh… what.. does you think?” Noodle asked as she glanced over at Stuart, who chuckled.

 

“You know I can't see, little love. Why don't you go find Russel to show him your masterpiece?” Stuart was facing the area where Murdoc and Noodle were, but not quite towards them.

 

“ _ Hai _ !” she exclaimed excitedly. The little girl didn't even bother to tell Murdoc she was going to bring him along, she just grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the kitchen where Russel was preparing them lunch before Murdoc could protest. The girl was very strong for a ten year old, but she was at least somewhat careful. She tugged at Russel’s shirt, saying something loud in Japanese, then pointed at Murdoc’s face.

 

Russel couldn't hold back a laugh as he ruffled the little girl’s hair, asking her something in Japanese to which she immediately shook her head. “Good girl.” Russel smiled, then glanced at Murdoc. “Go wash your face. Lunch is almost ready. Bring Stu with you, alright?”

 

Murdoc groaned and pulled his hand back as soon as Noodle let it go, walking back towards the bathroom, only to meet with Stuart in the hallway. “Hey… lunch is ready. I'm going to the bathroom to wash my face.”

 

Stuart stopped in his tracks, right in front of Murdoc. It seemed like he was staring down at him and Murdoc couldn't help but think Stuart could see him in that moment, even though he knew for sure the man couldn't. Stuart opened his mouth to say something, but stopped, his mouth closing slowly, brows furrowing as if he was in deep thought. Murdoc stared. He felt like that was the only thing he could do at the moment. “Right… uh, talk to you at lunch.” And with that, Stu left.

 

Murdoc chewed on his bottom lip for a few moments before he finally continued making his way to the bathroom. He washed his face multiple times with cold water, only now feeling somewhat more awake and lucid. But after a few moments he realized he didn't need that, he needed to be drunk. He needed to, because sober he couldn't shake the memory of the recent events.

 

\--

 

_ Murdoc didn't know what he felt when he heard the loud moans coming from Stuart’s room. He was leaning against the wall, his hands in his hair and for a while he thought he might cry. He didn't know why, though. Thinking of Paula’s hands all over the blind man, it made him feel sick. Sure, he knew the girl really liked the singer, but… Man, did he fall in love with her so easily? Murdoc eventually left, his head spinning with thoughts he wished he wouldn't have had. _

 

_ The next day Murdoc got flirty with Paula. He got the chance to, since Stuart was busy teaching Noodle a few words in English and some grammar. For a moment he thought fondly of them, but when Paula was leaning against him, all his thoughts left him. He grabbed her by the hand, taking her to the closet, kissing her, touching her. It was everything he wanted. _

 

_...or was it? _

 

_ The moment Stuart opened the door, Murdoc’s heart was in his neck, pulling his pants up as fast as he could. The tears in the man’s eyes made Murdoc feel so sick, burying himself deeper in the closet. Paula was giving bullshit explanations, but Stuart didn't have any of it, he moved backwards, sobbing, and eventually fell to the ground. Stuart started screaming “Get out! Get out of this fucking building, you fucking whore!” and it was then Russel busted into the room. He kicked Paula out and pulled Murdoc out of the closet, instantly punching him in the face. In that very second Murdoc began questioning why he did it in the first place. He didn't actually want Paula, did he? _

 

\--

 

Murdoc barely registered that he punched the Mirror, shards from it digging deep into his skin.

 

_ Don't cry. Don't scream. Don't call for help. No one will come and save you. _ A dark part of his mind chanted like it was some sort of mantra he needed remember for his whole life.

 

Murdoc sighed, pulling what shards he could from his hand before slowly making his way to the kitchen. He didn't even look at his bandmates, or Noodle. He just went to the fridge and grabbed a beer from it, then slammed the door shut. “I'm not hungry, go ahead and eat.” Murdoc mumbled while he went to grab a bottle opener and opened his beer.

 

“Dude, your hand is bleeding, what the fuck happened?” Russ asked, concern clear in his voice. Stuart perked up, but he didn't know where to look. Murdoc ignored them, taking a long swig from the beer, then heading out the room.

 

“Murdoc-san, please… stay with.. our…  _ iie _ us!” Noodle was clinging to his leg, looking at him almost desperately. Murdoc shook his head and gently pushed her away.

 

“Luv, Murdoc has some business to take care of, so I can't stay.” Murdoc explained and ruffled her hair with his good hand.

 

“Like… um.. you do- did with girl?” Noodle asked and Murdoc had to use all the power in his will to not slap the girl across the face for even bringing the incident up.

 

Murdoc sighed quietly. “No. All alone, I don't want anyone around me now.” Murdoc said and finally walked away. He took another swig from his beer before he entered the Winnebago. He went to sit in his bed, pressed against the wall of the RV, staring at the ceiling. He didn't know why he went to the kitchen to grab a beer, his mini-fridge was filled with it. Maybe just to see if they would care about him, after what happened.

 

A knock on the door startled him from his thoughts. “Murdoc, open up, we need to talk.” It was Stuart’s voice. “Right now. Or I'm coming in myself.

 

Murdoc sighed audibly and got up from the bed and went to open the door. He was ready to flee back to the bed, but Stuart grabbed his arm before he could go anywhere. The man first helped himself up in the Winnebago, then tilted his hand down to look at Murdoc and pulling him to the bed himself. “Murdoc…” Stuart started, his expression serious. Murdoc was looking anywhere but at Stuart. “Look… I just.. I want to know why you did it.”

 

“Because…” Murdoc started, trying to pry his arm away from Stuart’s grip, but it was too strong, and he felt so weak. “I couldn't stand the thought of you.. and her.. doing things. I heard you two, the night before the incident,I knew you two shagged and..” Murdoc stopped himself before he could say something idiotic.

 

“Muds…” When hearing that nickname, Murdoc realized just how much he missed it, how much he missed  _ him _ . “I… you know she meant nothing.”

 

“And you know she meant nothing to me either!” Murdoc snapped, but quickly sank into himself.

 

Silence.

 

Murdoc couldn't breathe, he felt like there were hands around his neck, suffocating him.

 

“Muds… Murdoc, I'm… I'm sorry.”

 

“Why the fuck are you apologizing? I was the one who fucked everything up! I ruined everything. Everything!” Murdoc wanted to be alone so bad in that moment.

 

“I… I'm just… I'm sorry because I never gave you the chance to explain. I treated you like the worst guy in the world when the only thing we both did was release our frustrations, quite literally, in some bloody whore.” Stuart grabbed both of Murdoc’s shoulder and his glance was a little off from his face.

 

Murdoc couldn't hold it any longer. His head fell into the other’s chest as small sobs filled the quietness of the Winnebago. Stuart wrapped his arms around Murdoc’s body, holding the elder gently, muttering soft comforting words while tears streamed down the bassist’s face. After a while, it was silent. Stu was carefully threading his fingers through Murdoc’s hair while Murdoc squeezed the singer in his arms.

 

“Hey, Muds?” Stuart’s voice felt like honey when he spoke, and Murdoc could only glance up at him and hum curiously. “How about we forget what happened? Since neither of us meant it, it would be fair if we just move on.” Murdoc didn't even hesitate to nod, moving back a little when he lets go of the blind man.

 

“Yeah, we can, kinda… start over. Alright, Stu?”

 

“Of course. We're starting over.”

 

\--

 

Eventually everything fell into place and Stuart and Murdoc were closer than ever.

 

They found out that Noodle was a rare talent, as she could play guitar flawlessly. So they didn't need Paula anymore. It was just the four of them.

 

When they started recording their first album, things were messy, but so much fun. They were laughing and poking fun at each other, Noodle wanted to record a line or two for the album, so of course they let her. Stuart learned the lyrics by having Murdoc read them to him as often as possible, so he had no issue singing them. Russel had quite amazing rapping skills, said he learned from his best friend back in Brooklyn where he was from. He didn't seem very comfortable talking about his old friend, so they never pressured him into telling them what happened. The album was going to be amazing, everyone was sure of it.

 

In their quiet days, Murdoc would sit with his head on Stuart’s shoulder while reading a book aloud to him, the singer holding Noodle in his arms, who was also listening intently. Russel was in the armchair, sleeping with a quiet snore.

 

“Muds-san? Can you.. move the book here, so I can.. read with you?” Noodle asked quietly.

 

At that, Murdoc shuffled closer, Stuart wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and Murdoc sat Noodle in his lap and put the book on her knees. “This is a pretty hard book, no pictures. Are you sure, little luv?” Murdoc asked and Noodle nodded excitedly, putting her finger over a word, eyes squinting a little as she read it aloud. Murdoc chuckled and continued to read along with her, now having Stuart’s head resting on Murdoc’s shoulder.

 

\--

 

“...Murdoc?” Stuart asked quietly while he kept his head buried in Murdoc’s chest.

 

They were in Stuart’s room a few weeks of their finished tour with a massively successful record, Murdoc would often find himself hanging around with the blind man, and it was no different that night. Murdoc was twirling strands of Stuart’s now blue hair (which the blind man dyed at his own demand) and his eyes trailed down until they found the singer’s head. “What's wrong?”

 

“Nothing, I've just been thinking-”

 

“Woah, woah, don't do that, you might hurt yourself.” Murdoc chuckled which earned him a hard nudge in the chest.

 

“Be serious for a minute, will you?” Stuart huffed and shook his head. “But… I've been thinking… about a lot of things. And, well, pretty much all of them involve you.”

 

Murdoc froze for a moment. His eyebrows knit together in confusion as he pulled back to look better at the man in his arms. “What do you mean?” 

 

Stuart sighed, bringing his hands carefully up to the bassist’s face, his thumbs ran gently over the man’s cheeks. “I think… I feel things for you, and only recently I've realized I felt them.” Stuart spoke quietly, his voice giving away the anxiety he felt about this situation.

 

Once again, Murdoc felt his heart in his neck, unable to speak for a while. “I… just… I don't kn-”

 

“Kiss me. I want to know.” At Stuart’s words, Murdoc didn't even skip a beat and pressed his lips against the singer's.

 

The kiss was nothing like they described it in movies or books. Both men’s lips were rough and chapped, pressing hard, almost desperate against one another. There weren't any sparks or explosions, there wasn't anything spectacular about it. But they still felt  _ it _ . That damned feeling, it was definitely there. The two were like magnets, now that they were close enough they wouldn't come apart unless they were forced to. And there wasn't any lust in the kiss, just the feeling that both of them were still afraid to put a name to. They clashed and collapsed together into the bed, while all of the answers they needed came pouring as their lips parted and came further together.

 

They never spoke of the incident. Not because they wanted to hide it, but they just didn't have to speak about it. Because, really, the text changed nothing between them. Besides a few stolen kisses and a lot more hand holding, but otherwise there was no difference between how they used to be and now. 

 

\--

 

When Noodle got a little older, she wanted to write their next album all by herself. And they couldn’t stop her, there was no way they could. So they helped her, she composed songs with Stuart and Murdoc (though sometimes she would do it by herself, that's how DARE was created.) They all felt very proud of her. When collaborators started coming in, she was the most professional of them all and instantly earned respect.

 

Recording the bass for Feel Good Inc. was perhaps the most fun song they've ever recorded, the guys from De La Soul started a prank war with Murdoc, Russel and Noodle, and Stuart was keeping track of the score. It started with tame pranks, just little fun things, then it got more progressive and elaborate, like changing the strings of Murdoc’s beloved guitar El Diablo with long plastic elastics, or changing the rap lyrics in various ways.

 

They stayed almost a month in Kong Studios because as soon as they finished recording  they would be shooting the music video, which was as hard as it could get, since it had a CGI floating windmill island and a room filled with screens and bodies. And when they started recording the video, a challenge war replaced the previous prank war. They were all giving each other dumb challenges like who could drink coke faster, or singing Feel Good Inc. backwards (which Stuart did flawlessly.)

 

A final challenge was for Murdoc to put the most sexual show during the times he was filmed. He left everyone but Stu speechless, since the singer could not see him, but hearing about it made him want to be able to see it. Still, it was all very fun and the band couldn't help but feel sad that the guys from De La Soul had to leave. But they were sure they would collab again in the future.

  
Times were good until now, but hard times had to come as well...


	2. BROKEN GOD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noodle and Russel decide to leave to Japan, but a message Stuart and Murdoc receive might affect them more than they think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the late update, but I'm thinking of dropping the fic since I barely got any inspiration for it anymore.

One day Noodle invited Stuart over to her room, telling him that he needed to learn to protect himself, in case anything bad happens. It was somewhere around the middle of the winter, Murdoc recalled, and ever since then they've been training every day. Which reduced the time Murdoc and Stuart spent together. Murdoc didn't mind all together, since it was really for the best, he knew Noodle was right. But he still missed having the blind man around all the time.

 

When he did get some time with Stuart, it was somewhat sweet. Murdoc always had a bad temper, so he'd often found himself yelling at Stuart for nothing. But somehow, Stuart never got mad at him. He never got scared. He knew far too well Murdoc would never hurt him. Murdoc wondered if he would ever push the limit.

 

\--

 

“We need to talk.” Noodle leaned with her arms on the knees. She was sixteen, but so much more mature. Murdoc leaned back in the armchair and glanced at Russel and Stuart who were on the couch. “I want to go back to Japan and rediscover myself. As much as I love you guys, I really feel like I need to see where my roots come from. So… as soon as tour is over, I'm leaving.”

 

Stuart gulped audibly and Russel scratched the back of his head, neither of them able to accept the girl was now mature enough to make her own decisions, and that she was really keen on leaving.

 

“You're too young to leave by yourself.” Murdoc pointed out, raising a brow at her. “But if you wanna leave, go ahead. Abandon us.” Murdoc said accusingly and he brought his hands together, tapping his fingers against one another.

 

“I'm not abandoning you!” she immediately exclaimed.

 

“Sure thing.” Murdoc rolled his eyes and finally got up from the armchair and walked to the door. “You're big enough to make your own decisions, so do your thing, I won't stop you.” Murdoc said before heading down to the Winnebago.

 

A little later, Stuart came to visit him. He went to sit by Murdoc on his bed, but Murdoc moved as far away from him as he could. “I know why you came.. please just spare me the scolding, I know.” Murdoc rolled his eyes. Stuart moved closer, wrapping his his arms around the bassist, running his hand through Murdoc’s hair carefully.

 

“I’m not gonna scold you, I understand.” Stuart placed a gentle kiss to his forehead. “It’s hard to accept that she wants to leave us, and who knows when she will come back.. But you said it yourself, she’s big enough to make her own decisions. We can’t hold her back.”

 

Murdoc leaned his head into Stuart’s chest, sighing quietly. “I just don’t want to lose any of you guys. But I --.”

 

“I know.” Stuart muttered, lifting Murdoc’s hair from his forehead and pressing another kiss to his forehead. “But you know I need you, so I won't ever leave you. Okay?”

 

Murdoc couldn't hold back his smile, leaning his head up to press his lips against Stuarts. “We'll work it out.” he said after he rested his head into Stuart”s lap. “Somehow, meeting you has made my life go from awful, to amazing.” Murdoc chuckled and brought his hand up to Stuart’s cheek. “I love you.”

 

\--

 

“Russel said he's leaving with Noodle.” Stuart said as he sat down on the couch beside Murdoc. Murdoc didn't answer. He didn't want either of them to leave, but at least it was better if his little Noodle left with someone everyone in the band trusted.

 

Wait. Backtrack.

 

Did Murdoc just mentally call the young japanese girl “his little Noodle”?

 

He never thought he would have grown so fond of her. That made his heart ache a little more. Part of his family was going to be away for a long time.

 

Family.

 

Yeah, that's what they all were.

 

A family.

 

\--

 

Murdoc ended up spending as much time as he could with the whole band. Even on tour, he'd always try and find ways they could spend more time together. Everyone appreciated it, even though sometimes it got annoying.

 

Stuart’s training didn't stop even on tour, but it wasn't as intense. It helped a ton, though, Stuart definitely managed himself on stage better.

 

\--

 

Tour ended and Noodle left with Russel to Japan. So it was, once again, only Stuart and Murdoc. They didn't mind… for a while. They felt like they were on a sort of a honeymoon for around a year, it made them get to a point where they would either bicker about who left the toilet seat up to quiet nights when they would watch television and sit in each other's arms.

 

But the world seemed to love to  _ fuck _ with Murdoc, in the sickest ways possible.

 

“Murdoc, put the bottle down.” Stuart glared towards Murdoc, but Murdoc paid no mind to him as he downed another bottle of rum.

 

Murdoc picked up drinking as soon as they decided to move on this tropical island that Murdoc bought when he realized he had way too much money he wouldn't use. He made it look nice, but it was eerily abandoned. He didn't do it because he finally achieved paradise, no. He did it because as soon as they moved, he got a message.

 

_ Noodle was killed in Japan.  _ To sum the message. Murdoc didn't know how to cope.

 

Stuart wasn't doing great either, his little best friend died, their drummer was nowhere to be found and, more importantly, Murdoc was falling apart more and more each day.

 

“I said… put the bottle down. Stop drinking.  _ Please _ .” Stuart begged. The bottle wasn't dropped, though, it was thrown against the wall, making Stuart shriek in fear. Hearing that, Murdoc didn't know how to react but to grab another bottle and drink some more. “Murdoc! Listen to me!” Stuart cried. It was too late, Murdoc was gone.

 

\--

 

When Murdoc ran out of rum, things got… better. In a way or another. Stuart was afraid to go anywhere near him, but he still agreed to write a new album. But they couldn't do it only the two of them, so Murdoc used his contacts to get artists to collaborate with them.

 

“Plastic Beach.” said Murdoc as he leaned against the table. “That's the name of the album.” Murdoc looked at Stuart for an opinion.

 

“As you wish.” Stuart’s voice was monotone. He busied himself with the hem of his own shirt. Murdoc frowned. He hated himself for falling apart so hard that he ruined the best thing he had in his life. He wanted alcohol, but he couldn't get any more. At least he didn't allow himself to.

 

“Are you sure you're okay with this?” Murdoc asked, voice filled with worry.

 

“Sure.”

 

Murdoc hated this so much.

 

\--

 

“Broken…. Our love is… broken…” Murdoc heard Stuart’s voice from his room while he passed it, piano music accompanying it. Murdoc didn't bother knocking on the door, when he noticed it was unlocked, he just walked in. He didn't say anything for a while, he just listened. Stuart definitely noticed him, but didn't stop singing.

 

“Is it far away.. in the glitter freeze? Or in our eyes, every time they meet?” Stuart kept singing. Murdoc instantly knew what the song was about. It pained his heart. “It's by the light of the plasma screens. We keep switched on all through the night while we sleep.. There's nothing you can do for them. They are the force between, when the sunlight is arising.. there's nothing you can say to him, he is without a heart.. and the space has been broken.” And then back again with the chorus.

 

When Stuart was done, he stayed with his hands on the claps, staring blankly ahead. He was holding back tears, Murdoc could tell. If he could only remember what he did to him in his drunken stupors…

 

“I know…” Stuart’s voice cracked. “I know you don't remember. But I just… give me some time, it will hurt less.” Stuart sighed. “...I still love you, I promise.”

 

Murdoc couldn't stand being there anymore. He left the room as soon as Stuart was done speaking. He could faintly hear the other crying. Murdoc felt like he was falling apart again.

 

\--

 

Murdoc was laying in bed, eyes closed, listening to the sounds of the ocean. He didn't even hear the door open, but soon enough he felt arms wrap tightly around him, a familiar heat covering his body.

 

“I miss you.” Stuart said quietly. Murdoc opened his eyes and looked down at Stuart. His hair was a mix of faded blue, blonde and light brown, perhaps the most beautiful mix he's ever seen. It faintly reminded him of the ocean. Murdoc brought his hand up to gently thread his fingers through his lover’s hair. Was he still his lover?

 

“I'm not gonna leave you alone again, I promise you.” Murdoc said quietly. “You're the last thing I love that I still have..” 

 

Stuart only nodded.

 

They were both holding back tears this time.

 

\--

 

“There's no way…” Murdoc muttered under his breath as he dropped the basket of fruits he gathered from around the island. Beaten up and tired, but still the same… Noodle and Russel. They must have noticed him because Noodle took no time to sprint over to Murdoc, jumping and tackling Murdoc to the ground.

 

“Murdoc! I missed you so much!” the little japanese girl said cheerfully. Murdoc laughed, but tears also left his eyes when the little girl hugged him tightly, which he returned immediately.

 

“You grew so much, Noodle, you look beautiful.” Murdoc gently swayed her back and forth as he squeezed her in his arms. Russel watched them amused.

 

“Where's Stu?” Noodle asked as she looked down at Murdoc when his grip on her loosened. 

 

“Oh, right, he's recording the instrumental for a song right now. He's with the guys from De La Soul in the studio, I was going to… uh…” Murdoc looked at the fruits sprawled on the ground. “bring them some fruits since they've been working hard all day.”

 

“Oh! Right! Let me help you!” Noodle instantly got up and grabbed all the fruits and put them back in the basket. “Let's go, Murdoc!” Noodle grinned, grabbing Murdoc’s hand and pulling him up. Murdoc chuckled at the girl's excitement and took the basket back in his arms, but Russel immediately took it from him. He couldn't help but notice Russ was awfully quiet, but thought nothing of it for now.

 

Murdoc guided the two to the recording studio where someone was singing faintly, and it did sound a lot like Stuart, but Murdoc knew it was actually Gruff. Noodle didn't realize it, though, she burst into the recording room, going straight for Gruff, only to stop in her tracks before she tackled him to the ground.

 

“You're not Stu…” she said disappointingly.

 

“....Noodle?” Stuart’s disbelieving voice came from the closet where they kept some equipment. “Is… is that really you?” the blue haired man stepped out of the closet, trying to search for the source of the voice.

 

“Stuart!” Noodle squealed as she went to hug him as tight as she could. It didn't take either of them very long to end up crying while they tightly held onto each other.

 

“Is Russel with you as well?” Stuart asked when they calmed down a little.

 

“ _ Hai _ … uh he's here he just can't…” Noodle looked at Russ and the man quickly gave her a thumbs up. “Uh… he can't speak anymore, his vocal cords are broken.”

 

Murdoc stared at Russ, frowning. So that's why he wasn't speaking. Murdoc went to the De La Soul guys and Gruff and explained the situation, sending them back to their rooms.

 

“What… what happened? We were told that you… that you were killed.” Stuart asked quietly.

 

“We might as well have been.” said Noodle bitterly, an attitude Murdoc and Stuart never expected from the girl. “It started out with a nice month in Japan. We visited a ton of places. Then I found out my family had some ties with this horrible mafia deal in Japan, and… that was the reason most of my family was killed. The Mafia found out that I was the only member of my family still alive, and me and Russ got chased around Japan.” Noodle explained.

 

“So that's why you look so beaten up..” Murdoc pointed out.

 

“Not quite… we did get caught. It was horrific, instead of going straight for the kill, they captured me and Russel and tortured us until we…” Noodle pauses and brought her hands up, making hair quotes. “Spilled everything we knew. Probably why they sent you that letter too. They fucked with Russel’s neck when they realized he'd be no use for talking, and used it as a way to get me to speak about something i didn't know. And then… they told us they set our house on fire and that there were no survivors, they showed us pictures, so we thought you two… but we still had faith and believed they were only messing with us. Which was, in fact, the case.”

 

“How did you get out?” Stuart asked, moving in closer.

 

“This guy…. Boogieman, or something like that. Agent Boogieman, said he knew my family really well and rescued us. I think he has a hacker background, because they virused all of the mafia’s servers and things started blowing up and he pulled us out and told us you're alive and that you're here. It was hard to get to you, but… here we are.” Noodle grinned, grabbing Stuart’s hand and squeezing it. “How about you two? What happened while we were gone?”

 

Murdoc shifted uncomfortably.

 

“Well… we broke up, that can be considered the big news.” Murdoc spoke quietly.

 

“And we also started working on a new album.” Stuart added quickly after.

 

The silence that followed was heavy, Noodle and Russ were staring daggers into Murdoc and the satanist wanted to scream. They were waiting for an explanation. 

 

“I… had a pretty bad fall out after I found out you were dead, so… I picked up drinking and I was mostly black out drunk until I ran out of alcohol.” Murdoc explained.

 

When Stuart felt Noodle tense and her hands formed tight fists, the girl assuming the worst, Stuart grabber her and held her down, then, as if he was able to see for the moment, he glared towards Russel. “Don't dare put the blame on him. He didn't do anything bad, it was just a mutual agreement that after he went sober again we just didn't work anymore.” Stuart was gritting his teeth.

 

Murdoc was shocked. He thought he would have let the two beat him up, he was so ready for the worst. Instead, the blind man was protecting him, taking his side.

 

Noodle let her guard down, but she was still glaring at Murdoc.

 

“So… you two aren't…” Even Noodle couldn't believe what she was saying. “It's my fault..” Noodle frowned and rubbed her face with her hands.

 

“No, no it's not your fault at all! I suppose it was bound to happen eventually, me and Murdoc didn't work that much.” Stuart said and the sincerity in his voice felt like a stab in the heart to Murdoc.

 

“But…” Noodle started, but Stu immediately shushed her.

 

Murdoc felt like he was suffocating. He took almost no time to sprint out of the room, he wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, and he truly didn't know what he did wrong to get there besides drinking himself almost into a coma. He stopped and leaned forward against the wall, wheezing, his hand clutching tightly onto his chest as he repeatedly punched the wall with the other one. Pain shot up through his fist, but he didn't stop hitting.

 

“Dawg, the hell you doin’?” A familiar voice came from behind him and grabbed his arm to stop swinging at the wall. “What happened back there? Ain't ya supposed to be comin’ out happy and shit from out there? Like squad reunion or whatever?” David asked.

 

Right, the De La Soul guys were still here.

 

“I'm fine.” Murdoc mumbled and pulled his hand away from him, but immediately winced at the pain.

 

“Fam, you don't look good at all.” David sighed.

 

Murdoc shook his head and slowly sunk down to the floor, moving back to lean against the wall. His hands went to his face and he rubbed his eyes. He barely even registered that David sat next to him.

 

“Boyfriend problems, I guess?” the black male asked. Murdoc sighed in exasperation. “It's kinna hard to accept that your bird wants to leave, y’know? Not even fly away. You prolly thought you're the only birds on the branch, but a branch is like… really long and he can move a bit to the side “

 

“He said that it was bound to happen, that he knew we were gonna break up.” Murdoc mumbled.

 

“Harsh, dawg. But did you too?”

 

Murdoc paused to think about it. Did he? “...No. I actually haven't… I thought… I thought he'd be the only amazing thing in my life.” Murdoc spoke quietly.

 

David hummed thoughtfully. “It's hard, man. But sometimes you gotta accept stuff. It's gonna hurt for a while, then you'll find someone else and it won't hurt anymore. An’ yea, they won't be like him, but they might be what you really need in the end.”

 

Murdoc was quiet for a few good moments before sighing quietly with a small nod. “Thanks. Like, not only for the advice, but that you bothered to listen to me and stuff.. You're a great guy.”

 

“No problem, dawg. You're a friend, and you always gotta help friends.” David grinned and nudged Murdoc’s shoulder. Murdoc let out a small laugh and hit the man’s arm on a somewhat gentle manner.

\--

  
**_Watch your empire crumble down, broken God._ **

**Author's Note:**

> An end note to this is that the first chapter shall contain Phase 1 and 2, and the second one will have pre-Phase 3, Phase 3 and 4. And then I shall have a 3rd chapter where the canon universe characters meet this AU ones!  
> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy it, next chapter will come up some time next week or in two weeks!


End file.
